6dpt 5dt

6dpt: Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood.
So, I guess that means something might show up if I POAS. Maybe. I looked this morning and I only have one Dollar Tree cheapie left. I may just have to stop on the way home tonight and pick up a couple more, just in case.

Because - just like Shawna - I'm not sure I'm patient enough to wait until Beta on Monday to find out if this worked. I need to POAS at least once to make sure the trigger is out, and then, I admit, I will probably do it at least once this weekend to see if anything results and then again Monday morning to brace myself for the news. Especially since I'll be at work when they call.

In other news, I'm off to watch the Harry Potter movie with some friends tonight. We are participating in the book club's Harry Potter month book read/movie watch in preparation for the next movie to come out in July. Yay!

Hope everyone has a great weekend - anyone watching the Superbowl? Cards or Steelers? ;-)

Shawna - hope those contractions subside for you and you can feel better and keep cooking those babies just a bit longer!

5dp 5dt

5dpt: Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells

So, now the little mushrooms should be completely implanted - yay! No new symptoms - still just tired a lot, some achy uterine feelings, and can't seem to eat enough. But, who knows what it's from at this point - you've got to love the whole:

PMS Symptoms = Meds Symptoms = Pregnancy Symptoms

It just plays with your mind!

I do have to admit this 2ww has gone by faster/easier than the others. I'm not sure if it's because we did a 5dt instead of a 3 so there was less time to think about them after they were transferred, or because I've just come to accept that this may not work, or what. But, I just have to get through tomorrow and the weekend and the Beta is Monday morning.

Now - the big question. Will I POAS between now and then? ;-)

4dp 5dt - PIO Queen!

If everything's still on track, here's what the little ones should be spending their day doing:

4dpt: Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining

Outside of that, I have big news! Inspired by a fellow Nestie, I did my own PIO shot last night - yay me! I am trying to think positive that this cycle will work. And if that's true, I'll have to keep doing PIO injections for a few more weeks, including time when DH is out of town.

So I figured why not give it a try now while he IS in town in case I can't do it, right? Well, I did it last night and it worked - honestly not bad at all! I had to move it around a little to get my fingers right to pull back to check for blood, but not too bad. I could do it again with no problem. Go me!

And I'm sure everyone reading this knows what a PIO-sized needle looks like, but just in case, here's a sample. Not the same drug, but the same needle - yikes!

As far as symptoms, I'm beginning to lose some hope since they are going away. My boobs aren't as sore, not really gassy/burping nearly as much, I'm tired, but not exhausted, no more acid reflux/heartburn. I continue to have an achy feeling in my uterus and pains in my vagina (weird, but true), but I don' tknow - most likely from the meds. Despite trying to remain positive, I still have to tell myself that this may not work so I am not absolutely crushed should I hear a big fat NO. It's better for me that way.

So, let's all hope they are snuggling in today like good little ones - go embies!

3dp 5dt

3dpt: Implantation begins, as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining

As far as symptoms, nothing too different than yesterday. Still really sore boobs, tired, acid reflux (I'm assuming that's what this feeling is), a bit emotional, etc...

I have also had some annoying ovary pains, but I am going to attribute that to the fact that I'm getting sick and keep blowing my nose - a lot. I'm thinking that might be putting some pressure on my abs, ovaries, etc... with each blow. Or maybe cysts from all the stims.

Implant little ones, implant!

9dp 3dt

OK - Can it not be Friday already?! OMG, this is the longest 2WW I've ever had. And the following will probably sound familiar to at least one of you, but I'm going to say it anyway. I feel like my time to be positive, to be naive and assume this is going to work, etc... is quickly slipping away. In two days I will found out if this worked or not.

I keep reading - which I know is my downfall - of what others have experienced when they got pregnant. The symptoms they felt. And I of course focus on the ones that they felt and I don't. And yes, I know that everyone is different. But I JUST WANT TO KNOW!

Yet, I am deathly afraid to pee on that stick. I can't face the reality of knowing - especially if it's a BFN. Not sure how I'd take it. I know it'll take some time to be crushed, upset, etc... And I'd like to think I'd bounce back pretty quickly and say ok - time to start IVF#2 - and that one WILL work. But I know it's not that simple. I know it. But it's just so hard to tell myself - to make myself realize all of this. That this might work. That this might NOT work. Or that the next cycle will/won't work. It still gets me sometimes that we can't just have sex and get pregnant the old fashioned way like "normal" people.

But in our world, IUI, IVF, injections - THAT is what is now normal. At times it's exciting, at times it's down right unbelievable. At least while I'm cycling and doing the injections I feel like I'm doing something - that I am positively doing something to make our baby. But this whole waiting around thing is enough to make someone insane at times. And no, I don't think about it all the time. But the closer we get, the harder it is NOT to think about it. I keep thinking to myself - if this end up not working, was it because of something I did? During the 2ww? That my body isn't going to ever do this? Right now it's just MFI why we need to do IVF. But who knows - maybe my own body has tricks of it's own that haven't been discovered yet. I don't know.

But, I guess, I'll just keep telling myself - I am pregnant until proven otherwise, right? RIGHT?