Emotions and Stress

This may sound crazy, but there are times, especially today, where I feel like my emotions are just trying to explode out of me - it feels like I could both cry and scream at the same time. That either would do. It's like I want a sad song to come on the radio just to give me an "excuse" to cry. I don't let myself just cry or freakout - I like to keep my emotions in check. I feel like I'd need something I could blame as the reason. Does that make sense?

Again - I don't know if it's the meds, the stress of the IF and IVF in general, the whole cat situation, work, money (the fact that we've had to pay out many thousands recently for taxes, car, IVF, cat, etc... We have enough, it's just a little freaky to have to pay so much all at once and to watch your savings grow smaller and smaller - large chunks at a time!) or what it is. Or, quite possibly, a combination of a couple/all of them.

Who knows - I just don't like the feeling. It's not like I am a cold person. I actually consider myself a warm person. But I just like to keep any freakouts to myself. I tend to keep some of the "bad" feelings bottled up and then at times they just need a way to get out. I never scream or yell or anything. And I do make sure I get my happy/positive emotions out. I guess I sometimes just bottle the bad stuff in and eventually it goes away. Either that, or I apparently find some way to release it.

It would be good if I started exercising again. I think that would really help release some of this tension that's building up - in my emotions and in my shoulders/back/neck - ouch! DH and I walk everynight for about 40 minutes or so around the neighborhood, but I honestly need to do more than that. I am so out of shape, and I hate it. Plus, I know the exercising will help me release some frustration/tension that I have bottled up. Does that make sense? I need to get back on my bike, or back out there running/hiking. I need to get motivated again to do it. The kicker, is once I have my ET, all of that stuff, other than the walking, is a no-no. At least at the beginning. So I don't know. Maybe I'll look into yoga. And I'm sure I can do light weights. All in due time, I guess.

So, I guess that's it for now. I'm off to bed and tomorrow is Friday - woohoo! Have a good night!

IVF #1 - GO!

So - tonight we start the first of many injections. Tonight we start with the Lupron. Just to give a general background on how this all works:

- Initally, you go in for some bloodwork and for some exams - an HSG and an SHG. Basically, the SHG is a sonogram where thy look at the shape of my uterus, take measurements, etc... The HSG is where they thread a catheter through my cervix and into my uterus. Once in, they inject a dye into my uterus to watch it fill up and into my fallopian tubes to make sure everything looks clear and ready to go. My left tube was a little stubborn to fill up, but it did. I won't be needing them since we're going IVF, but it's nice to know they're there and are open!

I had REALLY bad cramps when they initially put the catheter in and when they were injecting the dye. Like really bad. But once they stopped, I didn't have any risidual side effects which was great! I know some girls have had cramping the rest of the entire day - I was lucky!

- More to come (I promise!)

Just for fun, I took a picture of my belly before we started the whole process. From what I hear, this whole process can make you pretty bloated. I don't mind - it'll all be worth it - especially if the bloated IVF belly turns into a bloated pregnant belly!

Injections Class!

I went in to my RE's office (Reproductive Endocrynologist) and had my injections training class. The drugs I have to take for the IVF procedure are all administred via inection. The nurse (who was pregnant!) taught me how to set everything up, fill it up, etc... Didn't actually do an injection, but I feel pretty confident on how to do it and I'll show my husband how to do it when it comes time on Saturday. He really wants to be involved, so this is a good opportunity for him!

I am definitely looking forward to getting everything started on Saturday. I have the Lupron, the needles, and associated paraphernalia all ready to go, so now Saturday just needs to get here!