We love you, Riley!

Last night after we brought Riley back home after his appointment, we wanted to make sure he enjoyed his last night. So we spent some time outside, played string, and had lots and lots of window time and petting! We didn't do any force feedings last night - we wanted his last few hours to be enjoyable for him, not torture. He even purred - a LOT - last night when we were petting him. It was so nice to hear and to know he was happy.

This morning, I got up early so we could spend just a few more hours together. There was lots of petting again and of course the cheek rubbing. ;-)

And then the strangest thing happened. This morning, we still had the carrier out out and open from the night before. Usually, for obvious reasons, he hates that thing and we have to fight him to get into it. Well, about 10 minutes before we had to leave, Riley comes out of the bedroom, drinks some water, and then just walks right into his carrier and lays down. It was so strange - like he knew what was going on and had accepted it. Or at least that's what we like to think.

The office was really busy since it was a Saturday morning (including a huge, beautiful Great Dane!) so it took a while to get into the room. But once we got in, we had to fill out the necessary paperwork including what we wanted to do with his remains. We chose cremation and to get his ashes back, which we'll get in about a week from Tuesday.

They explained the process and it went very smoothly and peacefully. Basically, they gave him a shot that puts him to sleep, but still breathing, even though his eyes stay open. It took affect pretty quickly and we just kept petting him and talking to him as best we could through fighting back the tears. And then once he's asleep, they shave his leg and inject the final injection that officially stops his heart. That part happens so fast it was pretty amazing - and i'm so thankful that he just kept "sleeping". I know sometimes there are "side effects" to it and I'm thankful he just kept laying there. It was almost like he was just napping and that made it easier to see.

DH and I, of course, were both crying - and believe it or not, the vet actually was tearing up at the end as well when she gave me the hug. Riley had become quite popular there due to all of his visits and grew on everyone, so it made me happy that he had touched their lives as well.

So now DH and I are just kind of hanging out around the house - watching TV, napping, etc... to get our mind off of it. We haven't put his things away yet - we couldn't. But know we will neeed to, soon. And tonight, we are going to a BBQ at a friends' house to get us out of the house.

Thank you all for your thoughts and wishes - both on here and on the Nest. It really means a lot. And to leave you, I'm going to re-link to one of my old posts with some of our favorite pictures of Riley.

http://tinyurl.com/5jxdxp


Riley - Mommy and Daddy will miss you and love you always - you were a huge part of our family and always will be. Now you can play with as much string, nap, and chase as many animals as you want - MUAH!

Putting Riley down tomorrow

This is a straight copy & paste from my post on the Nest - sorry about that - but I just can't get myself to write it again. I may add something more later, and some pictures...

After today's vet visit, it was decided that we are going to put him down tomorrow morning at 10:30. This all stemmed from when he got hit by the car the day after Memorial Day. He was in really bad shape then, but the biggest concern was his right front leg. They didn't think he'd ever be able to use it again and would have to amputate it. Other than that, he was doing ok. He was eating, etc... They were suprised he didn't have any head trauma that they could see considering where he took the brunt of the accident.Then, just one day he started vomiting every time he ate. They did ALLLLL sorts of tests and EVERYTHING on him (and some a fellow Nestie (a vet) even suggested!) and on all sorts of medicine - but everything looks good. He did end up stopping the vomiting every time, but after a while he just stopped eating all together. Not even the faintest interest in his favorite foods. They're thinking when he got hit, perhaps there was damage done to his hunger drive or something in his brain? We just don't know.

So we have had to force feed him lately with a syringe. And that was complete torture on the little guy - he hated it. But at least it was something - even though he was throwing up some of that, too.So the last couple of days we noticed he had jaundice - pretty bad. So we took him in and the vet confirmed it - and that his liver pretty much isn't working anymore. He has gone from about 19 pounds down to 10 and he is just so not himself anymore. Doesn't do anything he used to love and pretty much just sits in one spot or hides in the bathroom or under the bed all day.

So even though it's going to be so hard on us tomorrow, I do truly know it's for the best. Starving to death and liver failure isn't a way I'd want to see him to go. I'd rather him just "go to sleep".

Oh - and the kicker? The leg they thought we'd have to amputate? Healed just fine and he can walk on it no worries. Who would have guessed the eating would have been the issue... Go figure, eh?

And on a related note, I think if I have to lose one special life tomorrow, I think it's only fair that this IVF works and I gain another. Right? Wishful thinking, I know - but it seems like it's only fair to me...

OK - I know this got long, I just needed to get it out. Thanks everyone for listening.

Riley has Jaundice

We were looking at him last night while feeding him and his nose, ears, etc... are all pretty yellow. So we're assuming he has fatty liver and jaundice from the not eating. Poor guy. So we are going to see if we can take him to the vet today and see what they say.

He's been spending most of his time inside either hiding in the bathroom on the towel or under the bed. It's weird. We've started shutting the bedroom doors so he couldn't go under the beds - he usually stays on top and looks out the window, but he has only been doing that for a little while now before going under. I think he think's it's his way of him hiding so we can't forcefeed him, but we end up getting him out anyway. We could be wrong since that explanation wouldn't fit the bathroom, so I don't know for sure. Maybe he just wants a small dark place?

OK, guess that's it for now. As far as how I'm feeling, not too bad. Can feel the ovary/uterus area and was pretty bloated yesterday, but not so bad right now. I'm sure the bloating will come back as the day progresses, though - never fear! ;-)

Transfer Day!

So, this morning was our embryo transfer. As I mentioned in previous posts, when they called Tuesday morning they said 3 out of the 4 had fertilized. So this morning, we were curious how many we'd have for our transfer today. DH was thinking 4, I was thinking 3. Well, neither of us was exactly quite right! haha

We still had 3, but one of them wasn't looking so hot anymore and they couldn't really tell if it was dividing any more or it was just hiding the other cells where the microscope couldn't see. I'm thinking it stopped dividing, but I'm no doctor! So we have at least 2 that did look good, and one, not so good. We decided to go for it and put all three back - figured it couldn't hurt!

Here's a picture of them (aren't they cute?!). I'll try and take a better one later, but at least it's a start. DH calls them stuffed mushrooms - and they do kind of look like that, don't they?! haha So from the picture, you can see the one that we're thinking really isn't doing well...

The transfer today actually took longer and hurt more than last time. Not sure why, but it did. Not a lot, but the speculum hurt/was uncomfortable, putting the catheter into my cervix caused some cramping, etc... Nothing was unbearable, but it was definitely more noticeable than last time. I guess I'll take it as a sign since last time didn't work?! lol

OK, guess that's it for now. My mom called last night and today to wish us luck. I am so happy I finally told her - she has been so supportive. She even offered to take time off of work should I ever need it and DH can't drive me or go with me. How sweet is that?!

I took other pics of the retrieval and transfer that I'll try and post later, but for now, I'm off to take a nap. And then bake some cookies - you want any? ;-)

2dpR?

OK, so I made that up - 2 days past Retrieval. Yup, I'm a dork - but I thought it was a pretty good way to describe it. So our 3 day transfer is tomorrow at 10:15. Can't wait!

We've spent the last couple days just hanging out. We took the boat out (Tom fished and I read and relaxed in the sun!), went for walks, grilled, had dinner with a friend yesterday, etc... Not sure yet what we're going to do the rest of the week to and the last few days of our vacation. Maybe a quick trip up to Lake George or something, I don't know. Just something relaxing and vacation-y - guess we'll see. As long as it helps me take my mind off the dreaded 2ww, I'm good!

As far as side effects go, I'm still bloated, but the ovaries haven't hurt as much as they have the last couple days. They didn't hurt yesterday morning, but by the end of the day they started aching - I've learned I probably shouldn't lay on my belly to read while in the boat - oops! Either way, much better today - bring on the transfer!

So what do you think? Are all 3 embies still kicking? Or did we lose one? Or did the 4th one catch up? I'll let you know tomorrow!

Fert Report, Kitty, and Plans for Today

Hey there! Got our Fertilization Report this morning. Out of the 9 eggs they retrieved, they were able fertilize 4 of them. They weren't able to tell me why they couldn't do the others, but I'm assuming they either weren't mature or something - will have to find out Thursday when I get to the Transfer. And of the 4 eggs they got, 3 of them had fertilized this morning. She said the 4th may catch up by Thursday, but at least, as of now, we have 3 - so that's a good start!

It's actually very similar to last time - last time we got 10 eggs, they injected 4, and 3 fertilized! lol

So we have a 3 day transfer scheduled for this Thursday at 10:15. Can't wait! And it was nice of them to push it out by a couple hours compared to last time since we have to travel 2 hours to get there. Woohoo!

Here's my list of drugs:

- Prometrium (200 mg) - vaginal supps 2x daily (oh so messy!)
- Estrace (2 mg) - orally 2x daily
- Doxycycline (100 mg) - 2x daily for 3 days
- Baby Aspirin (81 mg) - 1 daily
- PNV - 1 daily
- B6 - 1 daily
- Levothyroxin (25 mcg) - 1 daily
- And then I add in a multi-vitamin 1 daily.

As far as symptoms/side effects, they are better today. Yesterday I was extremely bloated, ovaries hurt to walk, move, etc... although it wasn't so bad that I couldn't handle it. And I was stuck "taking it easy" lol. Nice when you don't HAVE to do it, but boring when you do ;-) Needless to say it's worth it and I spent much time on the Nest and watching TV.

Today the bloating is down so far and the ovaries aren't nearly as achy. We are now getting ready to take the boat out for a couple hours - I am on vacation after all! - and then I'm meeting a friend tonight for dinner to celebrate. My fert report and her divorce finally being finalized!

Lastly - in case anyone is curious about the kitty, there hasn't been much change. He is still losing weight but we are still doing the force feedings. Just don't always get him to keep them down. But we're still trying. And, on that note, I'm off to go feed him again, let him outside, and then pack up to head out on the boat!

I hope everyone has a great day and I'll talk to you soon!

Egg Retrieval & Funny Story!

So today went well. We left around 7:45 this morning and headed to Syracuse. Got there just in time and then shortly after, they took us back. It was uncomfortable sitting in the car straight up and down the last couple of days (gotta love giant ovaries!) so I had to recline, but other than that, not too bad. Just achy ovaries - they even hurt a bit with each step - fun, fun! I find myself hold my hands over them - quite the picture, I have to imagine!

We both got changed into our beautiful outfits and then they hooked me up to all my IV's, etc... And this time they hooked the IV up to my arm where they normally draw blood, not my hand - the hands hurts!

And before I know it, I'm awake and they had retrieved 9 eggs. Last time they told me when I'd be put out, but not this time I guess! lol

I don't even remember the doctor coming in! DH took lots of pictures - might post them later after I get them off the camera. He also said that they got 9 eggs and there's a chance that 6 of them are mature. I sure hope so - that's better than I was expecting!

We stopped at a Thai place for lunch and then drove the 2 hours home. I'm a little tired, and the ovaries are achy, but nothing I can't deal with. So now we wait for tomorrow morning's fert report - hoping it's a good number!

And now, here's the funny story:

So on the way to the Retrieval this morning, my husband drove. Fast. And before he could slow down, a State Trooper pulled out, put on his lights, and pulled us over. Oops!

Expecting him to come to the driver's side, I hear a knocking on my passenger window and all of a sudden, there he was. And here's the conversation:

Mr. Policeman: License and Registration please
Mr. Marcy: hands info to me to hand to cop
Mr. Policeman: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Mr. Marcy: yes - I was going over the spead limit - well over 80
Marcy: thinking to herself - don't say WELL OVER, just stick to - "yes, I was speeding"
Mr. Policeman: yes, I clocked you going 82. Where are you coming from.
Mr. Marcy: Albany
Mr. Policeman: And where are you headed?
Mr. Marcy: We're headed to Syracuse to the Fertility Clinic

And now, get this part:

Mr. Policeman: Oh, my wife and I have fertility issues. I understand. Go ahead, just slow down.
Mr. and Mrs. Marcy: - thank you Officer, thank you!

Can you believe it? That was it. Without another word he handed us back the license and registration and we pulled away (going speed limit for the rest of the way!).

How lucky are we and how cool of that cop?! Such a small world...