Ultrasound #3!

Still growing strong! She said the little one is measuring right on track, about 11 mm, with a strong heartbeat beating at 157 bpm!

Here is my once again sad attempt at taking a picture of one of the pictures. I suck at it, but at least it's something (ignore the giant white circle - it's just the reflection of my camera).

It doesn't really look human yet, but you could sort of see the distinction between the head and the body on the screen.

Next week will be our last appointment with the RE. They typically release you at 8 weeks, but since my ultrasounds have all been in the middle of the week (ie: today is 7w4d), they are having me come back next week for one more.

And I have a feeling this will be the best appointment yet! They said they will use the 3d ultrasound machine and pop in a DVD for us so we can have a copy of the ultrasound as well as the sound of the baby's heart! We haven't gotten to hear that yet and I hear it's just the most amazing sound ever. I cannot wait! And I feel so lucky they are giving us a DVD of the appointment. Woohoooooo!

I am so going to miss getting these every week after I graduate from the RE and am released to the OB. I'm getting pretty spoiled! Plus, I really like being there - I feel comfortable there. But will still be exciting to be released like a "normal" person. ;-)

In other news - the spotting has stopped (I think) - yay! No other new symptoms yet so I'm pretty excited about that. Other than that, not too much going on. Just looking forward to the weekend. Hope everyone has a great one!

Good luck Larissa!

I wanted to wish Larissa and Shawn a ton of luck today! They finally get to have their first ultrasound and see how many babies are in there! I can't wait to find out!

And, I don't know if Stacy reads this blog, but if she does, good luck to you and your husband as well!

(Larissa - I never know if it's ok to link to your blog or not - so let me know either way?) ;-)

Spotting :-(

I have been able to avoid the joy of spotting so far. Thought maybe I'd be a lucky one who didn't spot. But, such is not the case. It started last night, then went away for a bit and is back today. Mostly brown, some pinpoint red yesterday. And it freaks me the heck out. A lot.

I know it happens. And doesn't always mean something bad - but there's still that possibility. And that's what keeps creeping into my mind that I have to keep pushing out.

I tell myself - I have cramping, but it's not really bad so that's good, right? And it's just spotting and not a ton of bleeding, so that's a positive, right? Ugh.

I haven't bothered called the RE's office since I have my next ultrasound on Friday anyway. And it's not like they can do anything about it anyway if it was the start of a miscarriage.

So - I guess I will just hope it stops soon and see what Friday brings us, right?

(Please stop, please stop, please stop...)

7 weeks - a Blueberry!

So - today I'm 7w1d today - yay! Still no new symptoms (meaning: no morning sickness or big/sore boobs) so I'm feeling extremely lucky at this point. I just hope it stays that way. The other symptoms are still here and manageable (cramping, emotional, tired, thirsty, hungry - and maybe a bit gassy and bloated, but not terrible).

And according to TheBump.com, my baby is a blueberry and will be about .5 inches this week:

Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.


And since I like to compare: according to American Pregnancy.org, it'll be about an inch by the end of the week. So maybe it doubles this week? I don't know! lol

What is happening with your baby?
At this point every essential organ has begun to form in the embryo's tiny body. The hair and nipple follicles are forming, and the eyelids and tongue have begun formation. The elbows and toes are more visible as the trunk begins to straighten out.

How big is your baby?
Your baby is approximately an inch long by the end of this week and weighs less than an aspirin.


Also - my parents safely arrived in South Africa - just got a call from my mom. Yay!

We told my Parents!

We were going to wait, but since we saw the heartbeat and they were going to be in town, we did it. Yay!

They came into town today because they were flying out for their next volunteer trip - they're off to South Africa! I don't envy the long flight, but I do envy them getting to go! They always save up so they can go on these trips and I think it's awesome! I believe this year they are building a playground - can't wait to see the pics and more pics of the animals they see again this year!

So, I took the day off and we took advantage of them coming down to tell them! I didn't know how to do it, so I piggy-backed off the Valentine's Day theme from last weekend. I know it's a week late, but hey - it's ok - we just played it off that we waited to give them their Valentine since they were coming in person.

So, here's what we did. I went last weekend after V-Day was over and bought a box of chocolates. I then took out the insides and instead filled it with baby stuff and taped the our last ultrasound to the bottom of the cover.

My mom opened it and it didn't take her long to figure it out. A big old smile spread across her face and she said "Does this mean what I think it means?!". It was awesome and I started to tear up. She knows we've been doing IVF and she was sooooo excited for us! She had assumed that since I didn't tell her the outcome of this last cycle, that it didn't work. So this was a great surprise for her!

Here are a couple pictures:

Here's the side with the baby stuff:




Here's the top with the ultrasound:




And the two together:

And finally, when it was all packaged up!

My dad didn't know what we were going through, just that we were having "trouble" as my mom put it. He is pretty religious and conservative in his views so I originally wasn't going to tell him how it happened. But he made a funny comment ("What, no twins?! geez..." LOL) so I took that opportunity to tell him that we tried! And then showed him the picture of the two embies from our ET and explained it.

Surprising, he was very accepting of it and just kept asking a ton of questions to learn more about it - yay Dad!

Tom could only stop in for a bit on a break so after he left it was pretty much time to head to the airport. We grabbed some lunch and off we went. They'll be gone for a couple weeks and I pick them up on March 11th!

Heartbeat!

Yaaaay! We got to see the heartbeat today and it was the most amazing sight ever!

It's so amazing to think that there is a little baby in there with a beating heart. At 116 beats per minute. Inside my body. In my uterus. Wow.

They printed out about a billion copies for us to take home - and here's my attempt to take a picture of one of them!



You can see the sac and then within the sac you can see the baby (blob on the left) and the yolk sac (the circle-ish type thing connected to the baby's right side). The yolk sac will eventually turn into the placenta around 10 weeks!

I was so incredibly nervous going into this session that the minute we saw it and they said it's measuring right on track, I almost lost it. I started to tear up. I still can't get over it. And the look on my husband's face - I wish we could have gotten all this on tape!

We go back again next week and we will most likely hear it then. If not, then definitely at my graduation ultrasound. Can't wait!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Ultrasound #2 today!

We should be able to see/hear the heartbeat at this one and I am just so nervous!

I'm still feeling some the same symptoms as below - including increased cramping yesterday/today which of course makes me nervous - but no spotting or anything like that. So I just hope with everything I have that the little one will be measuring right on track today and we see that little heart beating away!

Aaaaaah! LOL

6w 2d Pregnant!

I hope I don't jinx myself, but so far, I'm feeling pretty ok! I have had some very minor heart burn and I'm tired and bouts of emotional-ness (is that a word?). Not exhausted, but still pretty tired. No vomiting yet and only some very minor nausea, but if I eat something (granola bar, orange, jolly rancher), it seems to help. Still pretty thirsty, and off and on extreme hunger, and some cramping. Not too bloated, no spotting as of yet (phew!) and the boobs haven't really changed much and don't hurt yet.

It sometimes makes me wonder if anything is still going on in there, but then I remind myself - it's not the same for everyone - and I remember the symptoms I do have and consider myself extremely lucky.

And now, time for another round of c&p of what's going on in there. ;-)

http://www.thebump.com/:


Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.


http://www.babycenter.com/:

How your baby's growing: This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.See what's going on in your uterus this week.

---------

Both of these sites say the baby is 0.25 inches long, another says 0.75 - so who knows. But it's still prettty cool to know everything that's going on in there!

Good Luck Shawna!

Ms. Shawna and her husband George will be having their babies tomorrow! I know she has a lot going through her mind right now and I just wanted to wish her the very best of luck!

I know she can't wait to see those two little boys (and neither can I!) and I know she and George are going to be great parents. ;-)

Please pop over and wish them luck!

My First Food Aversion

Chocolate. Of all things. I made some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies the other day and have some chocolate truffles sitting in front of me. Both sound absolutely disgusting to me and the smell of them is even worse. Guess this is one way to not eat sweets!

Chocolate - who would have guessed?!? LOL

Confession

I am sad the other baby didn't stick. Now please don't get me wrong. One is the ideal situation and what I was expecting. But there is little piece of me that wishes my other embie hadn't died, you know? I am so greatful that we were lucky enough to have one stick - please don't think I'm not. I was just surprised how how sad I was that the other little one didn't make it. It caught me off guard.

Again - please don't think I'm being selfish or ungreatful - just a feeling that surprised me and I wanted to get that out.

Now - off to celebrate that I am pregnant and got to see that little sac in there, yesterday - yaaaaay!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

One Baby!

There's a baby in there! Sort of ;-) I'm 5 weeks 4 days today so it's a little early to see a heartbeat or anything, but we were able to see the sac and yolk sac! It was so cool to see. And we have another ultrasound scheduled for next Friday where we should be able to see the heartbeat!

DH got to go and you should have seen the smile on his face - I wish I could freeze that moment forever.

It's really small and blurry but here's my attempt at taking a picture of the picture: ;-)

So there (s)he is - grow little one, grow!

1st Ultrasound!

So today's the big day. The appointment is at 2:30 and we can't wait! I know it's too early to see a heartbeat, but it'll still be pretty exciting to see how many sacs are in there. That something is actuallly growing in there. Yay!

Poll

One more thing - take the poll to the right to take a guess at how many sacs we'll see at our first ultrasound Friday afternoon!

My First Pregnancy Dream

And it wasn't pretty. I dreamt that I started bleeding. A lot. I was at work and was on the phone with my OB (why not my RE, I don't know) and the woman wouldn't listen - she just kept reviewing my history. And while I was on the phone with them, my boss kept telling me he didn't like where my guest chair was? LOL

I don't know. I'm not sure where the chair thing came from - that's just odd. The OB piece most likely came from the fact that I have my annual OBGYN exam today so I'll need to give them an update of everything that's been going on.

And the bleeding? I've been much more positive, but apparently my subconcious wanted to get that fear out there to remind me. ;-)

On a related note, the Pregnancy for Dummies series is showing on Discovery health this week. The First Trimester episode is today, Second Trimester is tomorrow tomorrow, and Third Trimester is Friday. I already have the Third Trimester and The First 3 months of Life ones on DVR and they're pretty good. DH and I are watching 1st Tri tonight!

Here's their page - hopefully it's on in your area, too: http://tinyurl.com/anfg6e

I've watched a couple of these episodes already and I think they're pretty well done. They tell you what to expect, things to call your doctor about and not to, stuff for the husbands, pregnancy myths, etc.... And they do it in a pretty fun way. Check it out!

Hope everyone's doing well!

5 weeks: Appleseed!

From http://www.thebump.com/, my baby is the size of an appleseed this week!

Your embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of hCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests)... which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing!

Beta #3: 401.5!

Wow - I am sitting here in complete shock.

I really never thought I'd be here - especially after being told to consider donor eggs at my last WTF. Yes, I saw the 2 beautiful lines below, but I'm not even sure this has completely sunk in.

I have gone from 16.2 to 35 to 401.5. Wow. If my 35 had just doubled, it would have only been max 210 (assuming the fastest 48 hour doubling period). But nope! My procrastinator has turned into an overachiever!!

And this cycle would not have even been possible without the help of so many people. You here encouraging me, the support for you and others on the boards, my mom for helping to finance, the RE for reducing the price and so importantly - all the girls who helped with the OOP meds - there's no way we could have afforded this without their help!

My first ultrasound is this Friday to determine the number (I'm thinking one based on the quality of the embies transferred). I am officially 5 weeks today and am due October 12th.

I am just sitting here in shock - I can't believe it. I'm PREGNANT!

How Pretty is This?!

Since Beta #3 is tomorrow morning, I did another HPT tonight around 8:30. But, I was a good girl and, as promised, haven't done once since my last post about it where I was worried about it being lighter and needing to step away.

Those first tests were so incredibly light you could barely see them. So I never posted them on here - they wouldn't have shown up. And, as evidenced from my previous post, I've been pretty worried about this not working. My cramps have pretty much gone away, etc... But, I have been pretty emotional and I know that can be a sign, so I've still remained positive.

And, based on this stick, I'd have to say I am definitely still pregnant!







Yay! Now we just have to wait and see what the real numbers say tomorrow!


Shawna - if you're reading this, I hope you're feeling better - even if it's just a little bit. :-)


I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Nose Bleed and Lovenox

Not a good combo! LOL

I am on both Lovenox and low dose aspirin. Both are blood thinners. Needless to say, it's a bad enough combo with a regular paper cut or when I cut myself shaving. But - with my nose bleed this morning? Yikes!

Happy Birthday, DH!

On a lighter, happier note, today is my DH's birthday!

Every year for his birthday, he gets to pick what he wants to do for dinner, dessert, etc... Basically, the whole day (and weekend since I make it a whole birthday weekend) is whatever he wants to do!

So we went out to a yummy steak house for dinner, he opened presents, watched a movie, and had ice cream cake - you can't beat that!

I even snuck home during my lunch break and decorated the house for him so he'd see it when he got home. He never used to care about birthdays, but I love them, so I try to make them as special for him every year. Hide presents in his car for the morning, when he wakes up, etc...

It made me so happy to see his face and hear him tell me that this was his best birthday yet and that he felt so special. Yay! I love him so much that I would do anything for that man!

Happy Birthday, DH!

Step Away from the Sticks

I tested again this morning. And the line was lighter than it was yesterday. Now - I know that technically the darkness of the line doesn't matter. But come on - it's enough to freak anyone out. Combine that with me overanalyzing the crampy feeling I have and the sharp pains I was getting tonight and it just freaks me out. It's all I can think about. That this isn't going to work - that 35 was the highest my beta was going to get. That we cycled for almost 3 months for this round and after 2 failed previous cycles, this one isn't going to work, either. Even though this is the furthest we've ever gotten, I want it to be further.

I have moments where I get pretty excited about it. But then I remember - it is still soooo early. Most of the day I sit here thinking about all of this - literally scared that this is going to be taken away from us. I don't know if this is fair to say, but knowing what we had to go through to just get this far I think makes it worse/scarier. It's not like we can just go have sex next month and try again. Doesn't happen that way.

It's thousands of dollars in meds, months of being poked with needles and the lovely wand. Just to possibly, maybe, have a chance that it'll happen again. Hopefully.

And yes - I know that I need to keep positive. That the number more than doubled in 48 hours. And there have been many cases of low betas becoming beautiful babies. But come on - the number was still only 35. Most girls start over 100 - many higher. I seriously have to keep myself in check and know that this may not work.

Because if I only tell myself that this is going to work - it will be 10 times more crushing come Monday if she tells me I'm no longer doubling. And having that lighter line on the HPT is not helping any.

So - thankfully I'm all out of HPT's. I will not let myself buy any more until Sunday. I will not let myself go into the 3rd beta on Monday without testing. I need to know - especially so I'll be prepared since I'll be at work again when I get the news.

OK - I know this was all extremely negative. But this is my blog and I need to get my feelings out. I honestly do have my moments of positivity, too. But the questions/doubts are what rule and needed to be written out.

Thank you so much for reading. I will do better with my next posts to be a little happier/more positive! ;-)

4 weeks

Here's a picture of what the embryo looks like at 4 weeks. It's amazing how quickly it starts to develop!




At this point of development the structures that eventually form the face and neck are becoming evident. The heart and blood vessels continue to develop. And the lungs, stomach, and liver start to develop. A home pregnancy test is now positive.

Beta #2!

Happy Wednesday everyone! I just got the call -- and it's great news!

My hCG went from 16.2 to 35 - that's more than doubled in just 48 hours!

And my Progesterone went from 15 to 41 - so that looks like the meds are doing their trick!

I guess that explains the continued achy/crampy-ish uterus, feeling like I want to cry (although that could easily be the stress!) and why I'm so darn thirsty. ;-) And the 2nd HPT this morning with 2 lines. Such a beautiful sight! ;-)

My 3rd Beta will be Monday morning - I can't wait. My DH's birthday is tomorrow and it's all such an awesome birthday present for him. Yay! I wish I would have told him the appointment was tomorrow instead of today so I could have made it an even better surprise, but hey - I'll take this news today with NOOOOO complaints!

I called my mom yesterday asking her to call me back. She sounded so disappointed when all it was was to give her directions for my dad for Saturday - oops! She knows we're doing IVF#3 right now, but we're definitely not ready to tell anyone else yet.

so - it looks like we may just have a little procrastinator in there - just like it's mommy and daddy!

Thank you so much, to everyone - your support and positive thoughts mean so much to both of us!

Congratulations, Larissa!

I also wanted to make a special post to say a very huge CONGRATULATIONS to Larissa! She has been getting postive HPT's for the last couple days and has her first official beta day! I'd post her blog to see the beautiful pics of the pee sticks, but I know she keeps it pretty private and doesn't have it in her siggy either.

Her first IVF ended in pretty bad OHSS, but this one she made it through the ET and passed - with flying colors (and lines!)

CONGRATULATIONS SHAWN AND LARISSA!

2 Lines!

It was very light, but I definitely saw it this morning - that elusive seond line! I've never seen one before!

It showed up after just a couple seconds. It was hard to see, but it was definitely there. I took pictures and you can sort of see it on the pictures - a little better when you try that inverted colors trick.

I'd post it on here, but the pictures on here are so tiny I doubt you'd be able to see it.

But, that line is helping keep me hopeful. I mean - if I read the box right, the test picks up min of 25 so that means my beta must have gained at least 9 points right? To get from 16.2 to at leat 25 in order for it to show? That's at least over half of what it needs to gain in order to double for tomorrow meaning I'm on track, right? Does my line of thinking make sense? LOL

So now - another night of holding my pee until I can test again! ;-)

IVF #3 - Beta

Some of you already know the results since I posted it on the boards. But, for the others, here goes.

So - as you probably guessed, I broke down and tested this weekend - Saturday, Sunday, and again this morning. And BFN's for all 3. As I mentioned before, I just had to know so I could prepare myself for when I get the news at work.

I went in this morning for the official blood draw and she asked me if I had a feeling and I told her - yup - it's going to be negative - and explained why and she said I cheated! LOL

I didn't really want to go in there and pay the lovely copay just to find out what I already knew. But I did anyway, just like other 2 times. And apparently my veins didn't want to either because my normal regular vein would not let her needle in - and let me tell you - she tried! And it's a HUGE vein! lol She then poked my other arm, told me not to count everything out and off I went.

So now - on to the news you waded through the above babble to get to. She called me just before my 1:00 meeting and told me the news - 16.2.

So, technically I am pregnant! I know it's not a huge number and everyone has graciously reminded me it's not the number that counts, it's that it doubles withing the 48-72 hours. And that there have been lots of low beta success stories. So back I go on Wednesday for Beta #2! =

One girl on my local also made a point I'd like to stick in my arsenal of positive thoughts (thank you, Melissa!). That since I have been getting only BFN's on my HPT's, my number has most likely at least been going up, and not down. It's not like I got 2 lines Sunday and today just one, right?!

And really, if you knew both of us, we have been known to procrastinate. So really, it would make sense that our little one would be a procrastinator as well and just be a late implanter, right? LOL ;-)

The nurse mentioned my progesterone was only at a 15. So kind of on the low side for a medicated cycle and depending on the outcome Wednesday will determine what they'll have me do. As of now, I am going to continue on my PIO and Lovenox and hope my number doubles for Wednesday!

As a side note, it would be even more awesome if it did double since DH's birthday is Thursday - it'd be a great birthday present, right?!

Thank you so much to everyone who has been so supportive and positive. It means so much!