Saturday, January 31, 2009
I have been to BRU before during this whole TTTC journey and it didn't really bother me. Not even when we spent hours there when my sister was registering.
But wow - it hit me HARD today. I don't know if it's because of who I was buying for or because I think this cycle is going to be a big hard BFFN.
I was ok when I first walked in. But toward the end of the trip, I was about ready to lose it. And to make it worse, the item I went there for they didn't have and I had to wait in line behind a complete idiot (I bought one small item), just prolonging my stay there.
I managed to hold it mostly together while I was in there, but I lost it on the way home. It was not pretty. I think DH noticed when I got home that I had been crying, but didn't say anything. Hopefully I wasn't too pissy to him. I'll have to apologize later just in case.
So now, I ordered the stupid bouncer seat and it'll arrive in a week or so. Yay me. Then I get to wrap it and and get it out of my damn house.
OK - sorry about the language and the complaining. I'm off to zone out and watching something that is as far from baby as I can get.
Well, today is going to be spent with exciting trips to Babies R Us and the grocery store and cleaning the house. Now - don't be jealous -- not everyone can live the exciting life that I do! ;-)
Yeah, the trip to Babies R Us is for my 19 year old niece. Maybe she's 20 now? I don't know. Either way, she and her now husband are due next month - although we hear she's on bedrest now, so who knows. It makes me so mad sometimes when I think about it. Neither of them had a job when they got knocked up, neither had a high school degree and live with their uncle. Good times.
At least now he has a job and a GED. But she still has neither. So, yup - they of course found out they were pregnant and got married in November and is due next month. I can't make it to the shower, but my DH is going out there in a couple weeks so will bring my gift with him and have his mom bring it to the showe. Even if it were in town, I'm not sure I could make myself go to the shower. I don't know. I probably would since I wouldn't want to be rude, but I just don't know...
But, enough about that - moment over. The rest of the errands are for the SUPERBOWL!! Not sure what we're making yet, but will most likely involve making pizzas, wings, cheesy taco soup and who knows what else. And the house cleaning - the house isn't bad right now, but sometimes you just need a good excuse to get the house in top shape, you know?
So all the work today for a fun day tomorrow. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!
Friday, January 30, 2009
That and this headache. My stuffy nose is clearing up, but this headache has decided to hang around the last 2 days. And nothing seeems to help. Maybe a weekend away from work will do the trick - I hope so!
OK, sorry - complaining over. ;-)
We're watching "Swing Vote" now. It's actually not too bad - I recommend!
Have a great weekend everyone!
So, I guess that means something might show up if I POAS. Maybe. I looked this morning and I only have one Dollar Tree cheapie left. I may just have to stop on the way home tonight and pick up a couple more, just in case.
Because - just like Shawna - I'm not sure I'm patient enough to wait until Beta on Monday to find out if this worked. I need to POAS at least once to make sure the trigger is out, and then, I admit, I will probably do it at least once this weekend to see if anything results and then again Monday morning to brace myself for the news. Especially since I'll be at work when they call.
In other news, I'm off to watch the Harry Potter movie with some friends tonight. We are participating in the book club's Harry Potter month book read/movie watch in preparation for the next movie to come out in July. Yay!
Hope everyone has a great weekend - anyone watching the Superbowl? Cards or Steelers? ;-)
Shawna - hope those contractions subside for you and you can feel better and keep cooking those babies just a bit longer!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
5dpt: Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
So, now the little mushrooms should be completely implanted - yay! No new symptoms - still just tired a lot, some achy uterine feelings, and can't seem to eat enough. But, who knows what it's from at this point - you've got to love the whole:
PMS Symptoms = Meds Symptoms = Pregnancy Symptoms
It just plays with your mind!
I do have to admit this 2ww has gone by faster/easier than the others. I'm not sure if it's because we did a 5dt instead of a 3 so there was less time to think about them after they were transferred, or because I've just come to accept that this may not work, or what. But, I just have to get through tomorrow and the weekend and the Beta is Monday morning.
Now - the big question. Will I POAS between now and then? ;-)
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
If everything's still on track, here's what the little ones should be spending their day doing:
4dpt: Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
Outside of that, I have big news! Inspired by a fellow Nestie, I did my own PIO shot last night - yay me! I am trying to think positive that this cycle will work. And if that's true, I'll have to keep doing PIO injections for a few more weeks, including time when DH is out of town.
So I figured why not give it a try now while he IS in town in case I can't do it, right? Well, I did it last night and it worked - honestly not bad at all! I had to move it around a little to get my fingers right to pull back to check for blood, but not too bad. I could do it again with no problem. Go me!
And I'm sure everyone reading this knows what a PIO-sized needle looks like, but just in case, here's a sample. Not the same drug, but the same needle - yikes!
As far as symptoms, I'm beginning to lose some hope since they are going away. My boobs aren't as sore, not really gassy/burping nearly as much, I'm tired, but not exhausted, no more acid reflux/heartburn. I continue to have an achy feeling in my uterus and pains in my vagina (weird, but true), but I don' tknow - most likely from the meds. Despite trying to remain positive, I still have to tell myself that this may not work so I am not absolutely crushed should I hear a big fat NO. It's better for me that way.
So, let's all hope they are snuggling in today like good little ones - go embies!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
As far as symptoms, nothing too different than yesterday. Still really sore boobs, tired, acid reflux (I'm assuming that's what this feeling is), a bit emotional, etc...
I have also had some annoying ovary pains, but I am going to attribute that to the fact that I'm getting sick and keep blowing my nose - a lot. I'm thinking that might be putting some pressure on my abs, ovaries, etc... with each blow. Or maybe cysts from all the stims.
Implant little ones, implant!
Monday, January 26, 2009
I would really love a little uterus nanny cam to see what's going on in there for sure!
As far as symptoms go I have extremely sore boobs, acid reflux, uterus twinges and have been burping alot. Oh - and tired. But, since they were just transferred back in 2 days ago and are only just now potentially implanting, I know all of these phantom symptoms are a result of the meds, but I still want to list them. ;-)
Hope everyone had a great weekend, talk to you soon!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
-1dpt: Embryo is growing and developing
0dpt: Embryo is now a blastocyst
1dpt: Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt: Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt: Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt: Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt: Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
6dpt: Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt: More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt: More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt: HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT (Beta day!)
9dpt is beta day which I share 2 other local girls - I think that's a pretty good sign!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
When we got there and they had us go in and get undressed and in the lovely gowns and hats - so sexy! Took my blood pressure, drew blood for progesterone testing, popped the valium, and a few other things. All the while, I just kept trying to convince myself - they wouldn't have me doing all this if there weren't any to transfer, right? I just hope there's at least one!
So finally the doctor comes in and tells us that only 2 of the 6 had survived (I won!) and both were blasts. So that was exciting - better than 0 or 1, right?! lol There is definitely some fragmentation, but what can you do - it's been that way for the past 2 cycles as well and I know girls who have gotten pregnant with fragmented embies, so we'll go with that. And to quote the doctor: "They're not going to win any beauty pageants, but I've seen girls get pregnant with embryos that had more fragmentation that these!" lol
So, for the rest of the weekend, I'm not on bedrest, but I am confined to taking it easy and staying around the house, so I'm going to call it my 2 day house arrest. ;-) After that, just taking it easy, continuing the Lovenox and PIO, no exercise or lifting anything even remotely heavy, etc...
So this weekend will be filled with cheesy TV, DVR'd items, movies, etc... Not too bad - a chance to be lazy without the guilt! lol
And finally, here's are a couple pics of our two blasts - our lovely stuffed mushrooms!
Friday, January 23, 2009
And tonight we are having date night with dinner and then going to go see Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino. We've heard it's pretty good. Anyone seen it?
OK - back to the nervous excitement - yaaaaaaay! Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I don't have nearly as much bloat as I did earlier this week and the constipation and gas aren't so bad, either. Definitely manageable. Emotions, so far, are pretty well in check and I find myself drifting into my own little world thinking about Saturday. Wondering how our little emibies are doing - I can't wait to see them!
The only thing I've noticed that's different this time as compared to the other cycles is that when my bladder is full, my ovaries hurt - especially the right one. It makes sense that it's the right one since that one hurt more after the retrieval. I'm assuming it's happening since my bladder is pushing on them, but wow it can really hurt sometimes! But, again, easily relieved just by peeing ;-) Anyone else experience this?
Kind of sucks since I've been downing so much G2 and water - I feel like I'm in that bathroom all the time!
And lastly, wanted to leave you with something I thought was pretty funny. I'm currently doing Lovenox and PIO injections (which haven't been so bad yet!) as well as the low dose aspirin and pre-natals. Well tonight I picked up the Lovenox box and read the warnings which basically state the following:
1) Don't use if planning to become pregnant
2) Don't take with other medicines
3) Don't take with aspirin
4) Don't skip doses and use as directed
Well - needless to say I'm currently breaking the first 3 of those rules!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Warning - there are pictures of my 5 month old nephew in case you want to stop looking.
Her real birthday is tomorrow, so Happy Birthday, Sis!
The cake I made! It looked better the night before as it now has some juice dripping down the side and isn't as smooth on the sides as it was, but it was still delicious!
My friend holding my little nephew that I got to babysit - what a cutie - love those chubby cheeks - especially when he smiles!
I love balloons for parties and bought a ton to decorate. At the end of the party, they tied them all to his carrier (NOTE: the baby was never in harm - we made sure of that! He couldn't even reach them and they were removed shortly after ;-) )
Amy C! She guessed 7 retrieved and 6 mature. She was very, very close! We had 7 retrieved and 7 mature - with 6 fertilized! Great guess!
Most of you know this already since I posted yesterday on the boards, but couldn't get on here since I didn't have my own laptop and didn't want this blog to show up on the computer I was using.
But yay! I was so nervous waiting for that call. I figured with the percentages we had in the past (10 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized), it wasn't looking like good odds with only 7 being retrieved.
But, as everyone has said, it's more about quality than quantity. And, while I knew it was true, I was just hoping for a bit more quantity just in case the quality wasn't there lol. But, so far, it looks like the meds really have helped with the quantity.
With that news, we were told we have been pushed out to our first ever 5dt! So now I just continue on the Lovenox and PIO (they're not having me do Estrace this time) and wait until Saturday. They also decided to not have me do the HCG boosters until I am actually pregnant. Different than the original protocol, but I guess I'll do what they say. Wondering why I had to order them so early if there was a potential I wasn't going to use them. Odd.
But, anyway - we have our fingers crossed and can't wait for Saturday morning. We have to be there at 8:00 in the morning and then, based on how the embies are doing, we'll decide how many we transfer.
Thank you to everyone for all of their well-wishes. It truly means so much to both of us!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
So - based on my numbers below (and past cycles), anyone care to venture a guess as to:
- how many eggs they'll get
- how many of them will be mature?
I don't typically get too many commenters, but thought this would be fun. Hope you all had a great weekend and I'll update you tomorrow!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Other than that, my nephew and his mommy and daddy are here for a visit this weekend! I've been working with my FBIL to plan my sister's surprise 30th birthday party. It was today and went off without a hitch - she had no idea. Yay us!
I made the cake for today and, if I have to say so myself, it came out really well! My mom took some pics, but I don't have any yet. I'll post one when I get some. I'm quite proud of it!
And lastly, my FBIL took my sister away for the night and she left my nephew with us. It's her first night away from him so it was REALLY hard for her to leave, but I'm proud of her - she hasn't come back yet! And she left some instructions and tips which was helpful since I haven't sat for a baby in about 17 years! lol I've made sure to take tons of pictures and videos and send them to her throughout the night and she said that has helped, which is good. Anything to make it easier - I know I'd want the same thing!
He's sleeping right now, and hopefully he does for the rest of the night. Wish us all luck!
Lastly, I hope all of you are doing well and enjoying your weekend and I'll keep you posted on how things are going and how the ER goes on Monday - bye!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Here's are my counts from today:
So - we run the risk of a couple of them probably being too mature come Monday, but it is looking like a lot more of them will be good ones by then, yay!
So between now and then, here's the schedule:
225 iu Follistim
150 iu Menopur
- 16 days of stimming - crazy!
Ovidrel trigger (9:00 PM)
Stop baby aspirin (81 mg)
No food/beverages after midnight
DH's Sperm deposit
Haven't decided if I'm working Monday afternoon or not. If I do, it'll be from home, which'll be nice.
Other than that, my family plus some of my sister's friends are coming down for her surprise 30th birthday party. She turns the big 3-0 on the 22nd, so we're doing the party this weekend to hopefully throw her off. So far, I think we've got her! I just have to be able to get her cake baked and out of the house before she gets here tonight. Which could be hard if she decides to come early since it's not done yet.
So, this weekend should be good. Get to see my family, play with my little nephew (5 mos), eat cake, do the last of my injections, and look forward to some (hopefully) good numbers at the ER!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Besides all the meds making me emotional, my sister leaving today to go back Australia has just make me want to cry all day. I miss her so much and love hanging out with her, and it is always so sad every time she goes back. It's just SO far away (20-30+ hours of travel to get there), it is so infrequent that we get to see her.
She will be coming home for my other sister's wedding this year, but that means she won't be able to come home for Christmas. Understandable, but just so sad.
My mom and I are planning a trip to go see her this year, just not sure when yet. We can't go February-April because my parents are going on their next volunteer trip to South Africa at the end of February/early March and they'll need to save up time and money for mom's ticket to Australia. Then, the wedding is in July so she'll be home then, so I guess it'll have to in Spring/early summer or maybe in the fall/winter? The last time she and I went to visit, we went the end of September into October - 5 years ago. This trip, a lot of it will depend on if this cycle works and I end up pregnant - when I can fly!
I have enough miles to get me there for free which is a great bonus! Plus, I have a free domestic ticket that I have to use by April-ish timeframe so if we go by then, my mom can use it for the domestic portion of her trip. If not, I'll go visit someone, I guess?
So, for now, I guess it's back to chatting via IM. It's just not the same, you know? Especially since there's a 14 hour time difference. It's hard to catch a time when we're both awake, free, and able to get online!
I know she's not reading this, but just wanted to say - I MISS YOU, SIS!!
She said they took some time to look at my last 2 cycles to help make the decision and she said they are going to have me wait a few more days. I liked that - made me feel comfortable that they were taking my history into consideration to really try and get the best results, you know?
So back for another appointment I go on Friday! No change in dosages, either. So here's where I was this morning:
Plus one that kept wanting to hide!
Before I left, I also asked her if there was any way to help lessen the knots in my belly at the injection sites. I inject the fluid slowly, rub them, etc... and they still show up. And omg, they itch! And not just for a couple hours - usually for a few days until it's gone (although there are others to take it's place! haha)
She didn't have that much advice for it, but at least I know there's an end in site for them.
As far as symptoms, I can feel righty even more so now. So odd how I always feel that side more - whether it be because there's more activity there or because of it's location, I don't know. Either way, even though it's uncomfrotable and kind of painful, I don't mind it - it let's me know they're working!
Lastly, I've been feeling so emotional today. And exhausted. I even had a good night's sleep last night and I am still just so, so tired. I have to finish taking down the last of the Christmas decorations (yes, I'm lame, I know) and clean up before family comes this weekend, but I just want to go to bed!
So - up next are at least days 14 and 15 of stims (and most likely 16 and 17) and then the Retrieval on Monday!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I sometimes find myself walking around with my hand (or both!) on each ovary without even realizing it -- oops! I must look pretty funny, haha.
I also sent DH out on a needle finding mission this afternoon. He is a teacher and is done with the day a lot sooner than I am, so off he went to Rite Aid to get needles. Apparently, in NYS, you can get up to 10 needles at a time without an Rx. Poor guy - I gave him the measurements of what I needed and they didn't have exactly that size, so the pharmacist kept asking questions to get the right subsitute. He must have called me 5 times before he got some needles. Not sure what I ended up with, but as long as it injects without too much pain, I'll be ok. LOL
So - definitely looking forward to tomorrow to see what's cooking in there and I'll keep you posted!
Monday, January 12, 2009
But, finally made myself sit down and catch up. I'm sure I've left stuff out that I wanted to talk about, but I guess that's what I get for putting it off for so long. I'll do my best going forward to update more often.
Thank you to those of you asking me for updates - it's nice to know others are interested!
Wow - they're having me stim until at least Wednesday at this point. Same levels (225 iu Follistim, 150 iu Menopur). I would never have guessed I'd be stimming for a minimum of 14 days - never!
But - here's what we saw this morning:
So, they're at varying sizes, but all generally in the same range, right? Hopefully I have a few more come Wednesday, but I guess we'll see. She was thinking the ER would be either Friday or maybe Monday. Guess we'll see come Wednesday's u/s.
I know I have said this a billion times already, but I just really want more than 4 mature (and good quality!) eggs this cycle. Please?! Fingers crossed that's what this will result in!
Her boyfriend is of Chinese (Singapore? I can't remember) decent. He was born/raised in Australia, but his parents weren't, so she has learned a lot of yummy dishes from them. She showed me how to make Lacksa (I think that's how you spelled it?) - has the Lacksa paste, cucumbers, coconut milk, and chicken served over noodles. And then we had a side of steamed baby Bok Choy with ginger/garlic - all so yummy. I'm going to have to make it again sometime!
I really, really, REALLY miss having her around and it was just so nice hanging out with her! I really wish she would move back - even if it's not to the area where I live. Just something closere than the literal other end of the world with a 20-30+ hour flight to get there. Boo.
She left this morning and is going up to visit my other sister before heading back to my parents and then getting ready to come back down here to Wednesday morning to fly out and head back home.
I wanted to cry today knowing she was leaving - I can't even imagine what I'm going to be like come Wednesday when I see her off at the airport. It's bad enough without the meds - I'll probably be a mess on these things!
But I have never had so many days in a row of EWCM during a medicated cycle. For the past cycles, I will usually get a some around stim day 6 for a few days. But this round, I have had it for the past 16 days in a row. 16 days. And not just a little! I blame it on the Estrogen priming, but let's just say I have plenty of panty liners on hand! LOL
Friday, January 9, 2009
He did have a couple he measured including one lead follie that wanted to run away from the pack! So he had me add in Ganirelix to put my system on hold so the little follie doesn't cause me to ovulate and lose everything we've worked so hard for!
The nurse then later called me to keep my Menopur at the upped 150 iu and had me up my Follistim back up to 225 iu. I'm feeling quite a bit like a science experiment, but I think I like it! Makes me feel like they're really paying attention and we might do better this cycle. Fingers crossed!
And, in all seriously. Mother Nature - we have had more snow and ice storms so far this season and it's only just begun. Save some for next year, ok?! LOL
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
They did call to up my Menopur to 150 iu (and keeping Follistim at 150 iu). So at least they're doing something to get things a cooking. Guess I just need to be patient and keep telling myself slow and steady wins the race? And that I'll be growing better quality eggs at a slower pace rather than quantity? Although I want to be selfish and have both quality and quantity! lol
Monday, January 5, 2009
Other than that, nothing too exciting other than trying to catch up now that I'm back to work. So many emails, and had to put out some fires while I was on vacation, but worth the time off just to not have to actually be in the office!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Follistim: 225 iu
Menopur: 75 iu
Never done Menopur before and I have to say - ouch! That one burns going in - I had no idea! And that needle is much wider than others I've used and it doesn't like to go in. I have found hat if I let the menopur sit for a bit after mixing - and then inject it slowly, it doesn't hurt as much.
I had also never had to mix anything before, so this was my first time with Q-caps, changing up needle heads, etc... Had a few tricks, etc... to learn, but not so hard at all. ;-)
But yeah, they should really tell you about the burning - yikes!
Well, DH decided to have some fun with the injections/markings - on Christmas Day, he took red and green markers and wrote "Merry" and "Christmas" over the two circles to "celebrate". I had no idea what he was doing and when I looked, I couldn't stop laughing. If only the others knew what was going on! LOL
We went to my parents on the evening of 12/23 and spent actual Christmas with them. It was so nice to be home and see everyone. We grandmother, my great aunt, my parents, and BOTH of my sisters! My youngest lives in Australia, but she came home for Christmas and it was just so awesome to see her and get to spend time with her - even if it was limited. My other sister's Fiance and their baby was also there - he is getting so big!
And one thing Christmas really drove home was how much I love my mom and that my mom loves us. I have never doubted that, but sometimes you just get those moments that just knock you off your feet, you know? One of the gifts I got for Christmas was the really pretty set of holiday/winter coasters that came in a cute decorated box. I opened it up to see what they looked like and what did I find? Nestled between each coaster was money and a note stuck under the cover. My mother had written us a note basically alluding to the fact that the money was to help with the cost of this cycle. She is the only one in my family to know, so she did it secretly. And it just made us both start crying. It just means so much that she is so supportive. it just left us feeling so loved. Tom said it also made him feel guilty - that I wouldn't have to be doing all of these shots, my mom wouldn't give us money, etc... if he didn't have MFI. But we talked it out and still, when we think about what she did for us, we just don't know what to say. There's no way to thank her enough! I love you, mom!
After that, we then drove to his parents' and did our Christmas with them, then his nephew/his wife, and then finally his sister and her girls. By the time we got home to our house we were exhausted and just so sick of traveling. And sick of trying to sneak in all of my injections without anyone knowing!
But, we did finally make it home the night of 12/30. We wanted to make sure we got to wake up at our own house on New Year's Eve because that's when we always do our own Christmas. We have ever since we met and it just makes it so special. We hang out during the day, eat a really yummy dinner (usually a steak/prime rib dinner we get from somewhere), use our nice dishes, etc..., exchange dishes, watch movies, watch the ball drop, and of course do that New Year's kiss!
Overall, despite all of the traveling, it was a great Christmas all around. Great to see family and spend some time together, too. I hope you all had a great holiday season, too!