I want to tell...

Yup - another post today - I sometimes don't think to add things until I've already posted, and then don't want to have to go in and update an old post. But there are times when I really want to tell people about IVF - about what we're doing. I know - lots of girls on the Nest know, but it's not really the same. I want to be able to talk to my mom, my sisters (one of which is pregnant), etc... To be able to talk to people in real life about it.

Granted, there are 2 people who know. One of my friends/co-workers because I broke down one day after having to take yet more time off of work. And another is one of my best friends - she accidentally saw something we left out (oops) and I know she saw it, so I talked to her about it. Both have been fantastic and really supportive - and someone to talk to about it other than poor DH having to hear about it. They are both genuinely interesting and that's great - especially since I love talking about it! haha I just wish I could get myself to tell someone in my family - or even DH's.

Granted - what I wrote above doesn't mean that DH doesn't want to talk about it. I actually asked him again the other night during one of our late-night walks if I was talking about it too much and he said absolutely not. He is very excited about all of this - as much as I am!

As a matter of fact, he made a comment that just made me love him even more. He is the type of person that doesn't really let himself get too excited about things until the day of, day before, or basically only once it gets closer. He was like - I got really excited about proposing the morning of. For the wedding, I got really excited the day before. But for this, at the prospect of us getting pregnant, that he has been excited for so long, and it just keeps building and he can't wait for the ER and ET! (and no, that doesn't mean he wasn't excited about proposing or getting married - he really was! it's just how he works ;-) )

When we went home for Father's Day I had to put my Lupron in the fridge. I hid it pretty well, but I have to admit. I was secretly hoping someone would find it and ask what it was for. Although DH and I did work out a story that it was a med for our cat who we had to bring with us since he was, truly, on meds at the time for the accident. Just not Lupron ;-)

But no one found it. And no one accidentally walked in while we were doing my shots or accidentally saw my needles, etc... I really didn't expect them to. But part of me was secretly hoping they would so it would be a good opener. Does that make sense?

I don't think any of them would be unsupportive. Well - maybe my dad who is super-religious, but I've got ammo to fight that battle should it arrive! haha On the contrary, I think they would all be curious and very supportive. But I think that may be part of what's holding me back. I like talking about it, but not sure i want to go through it a thousand times with them in case they didn't get it (although they probably would). And I'm not sure I'd want to deal with the questions all the time. Although maybe I might like it?! And finally, I want my BFP announcement to be a surprise. And if I told them about the ER, the ET, and the 2WW, then it really wouldn't be a surprise - as much as a - guess what - I'm 3 mos pregnant! That may just sound crazy to you, I don't know. But I can't just get myself to do it. DH even said I could tell them, but I just haven't.

His family would be supportive as well, although they would have a LOT more questions - at leat his parents would. Both DH and his parents were adopted since his parents couldn't have children. But they are definitely older and not sure if they would understand everything. His dad is the kind of guy who likes to ask lots of questions, so maybe by the end he would! haha But, DH doens't want to tell them - or anyone else really - so I respect that. He does know, though, about my two friends knowing.

He went home to his parents for the wedding a couple weekends ago and the night before the wedding he and a friend of his got pretty drunk and they started talking about babies. The subject sort of came up (friend think we are looking into doing IUI like another common friend of ours). DH didn't want to get into it too much and based on how they sounded that night, I don't think the friend would remember the conversation anyway! LOL

We have talked about possibly discussing it with the above friends who went through IUI, but haven't really had the opportunity. We're going out there again this week for vacation, so if we see them, maybe we will. Or maybe we won't!

OK, I think I have typed enough. I've written, yet again, another novel. I just type as things fall out of my head. I hope you have a great day and thanks for reading!