Emotions and Stress

This may sound crazy, but there are times, especially today, where I feel like my emotions are just trying to explode out of me - it feels like I could both cry and scream at the same time. That either would do. It's like I want a sad song to come on the radio just to give me an "excuse" to cry. I don't let myself just cry or freakout - I like to keep my emotions in check. I feel like I'd need something I could blame as the reason. Does that make sense?

Again - I don't know if it's the meds, the stress of the IF and IVF in general, the whole cat situation, work, money (the fact that we've had to pay out many thousands recently for taxes, car, IVF, cat, etc... We have enough, it's just a little freaky to have to pay so much all at once and to watch your savings grow smaller and smaller - large chunks at a time!) or what it is. Or, quite possibly, a combination of a couple/all of them.

Who knows - I just don't like the feeling. It's not like I am a cold person. I actually consider myself a warm person. But I just like to keep any freakouts to myself. I tend to keep some of the "bad" feelings bottled up and then at times they just need a way to get out. I never scream or yell or anything. And I do make sure I get my happy/positive emotions out. I guess I sometimes just bottle the bad stuff in and eventually it goes away. Either that, or I apparently find some way to release it.

It would be good if I started exercising again. I think that would really help release some of this tension that's building up - in my emotions and in my shoulders/back/neck - ouch! DH and I walk everynight for about 40 minutes or so around the neighborhood, but I honestly need to do more than that. I am so out of shape, and I hate it. Plus, I know the exercising will help me release some frustration/tension that I have bottled up. Does that make sense? I need to get back on my bike, or back out there running/hiking. I need to get motivated again to do it. The kicker, is once I have my ET, all of that stuff, other than the walking, is a no-no. At least at the beginning. So I don't know. Maybe I'll look into yoga. And I'm sure I can do light weights. All in due time, I guess.

So, I guess that's it for now. I'm off to bed and tomorrow is Friday - woohoo! Have a good night!